LOVER AWAKENED
by J. R. Ward
Published by Signet Eclipse
September 5, 2006
Book Three: Zsadist's Story


In the shadows of the night in Caldwell, New York, there’s a deadly war raging between vampires and their slayers. And there exists a secret band of brothers like no other - six vampire warriors, defenders of their race. Of these, Zsadist is the most terrifying member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood.

A former blood slave, the vampire Zsadist still bears the scars from a past filled with suffering and humiliation. Renowned for his unquenchable fury and sinister deeds, he is a savage feared by humans and vampires alike. Anger is his only companion, and terror is his only passion—until he rescues a beautiful aristocrat from the evil Lessening Society.

Bella is instantly entranced by the seething power Zsadist possesses. But even as their desire for one another begins to overtake them both, Zsadist’s thirst for vengeance against Bella’s tormentors drives him to the brink of madness. Now, Bella must help her lover overcome the wounds of his tortured past, and find a future with her…

Z(sadist).

Z is so very sad and tortured. He is also sadistic in that he does get sexual gratification from humiliation and hurt. That's all he knows.
Z is afraid to touch and be touched.

He was a slave (sex & blood) and Bella was too (lesser).
Trust, they needed to regain trust. Z and Bella learned to trust each other and themselves.

EDIT: also Z looks like the devil but sings like an angel.

There are definitely several parallels between Zsadist and Bella.

As a Blood slave for 100 years, Zsadist's was kept by a psychotic vamp, in a dungeon, underground.
Although she wasn't kept for 100 years, Bella was kept for 1 month by a psychotic lesser, in a pipe, underground.
Over time, Zsadist became antiganistic towards his jailer.
Over time, Bella became antagonistic towards her jailer.
Zsadist came from a family of worth, as did Bella. However, after being held captive, they became scourged from their elite group.

I adore the story between Bella & Zsadist. He is truly a male misunderstood; the love he has for Bella redeems his self, his life.

Know what I don't get...why did Z keep his jailers skull???
I think as a reminder, but a reminder of what???
His hate for her, the fact that he kiiled a woman...what???

Well JM, I always thought he kept it to remind him of how far he had come from being that slave, he took his life back and this was his proof to me that he had the power to do that.

One thing I always wanted to discuss was how Z was really the brother, imo, most in need of salvation. Bella became him some respects his savior. So in that respect, again they parallel. He saved her physically and she saved him emotionally and spiritually. Giving him something to live for was huge in my book!

I believe we learn that Z took the skull to reassure himself that the Mistress is in fact dead. He shares the story of going back to rescue a young male from the Mistress. The young male kept repeating that the Mistress would come back; that she would never truly go away. So, to prove to the young male and to himself, Z decapitates the Mistress. He keeps the skull as a reminder that she wouldn't ever take another slave, that she wouldn't ever return. What ended up happending though, the skull stopped Z from moving forward. The skull became a sort-of brick wall; stopping Z from forgiving himself, loving himself. He couldn't begin healing until he go rid of the skull. Which is what he realized when he threw the skull into the fire.

w/you Tink!

Z introduced through the eyes of others as the Brother that is souless, dark, eyes that are dead. Phury tells Bella, Z is ruined, not broken. And although Phury rescued Z from slavery, from the the dungeon, he truly never left it. Bella brought Z into the light, out of the darkness of his own self-imposed slavery. She allowed him to see that he was worthy of being redeemed.

Thanks Chickie.
I Z

Bella really helped give him his worth back, didn't she! He was lost in the darkness and despair but she became his light and in that respect, his salvation. If anything ever happened to her or to Nalla, I don't think he would ever recover so let's pray the WARDen doesn't go there.

Why do you think JR gave this monster the voice of an angel? What was she saying about him in doing that?

^^^ because there was a fallen angel inside of him???

haha- now there are 2 Bella's in the universe whose men I want!!!


FYI: I am so happy we have this forum to talk in!!!

Chickie: Z's voice is equal to V's light, you think???

I can see that. There is a something, be it obvious like V's hand, or internal, like Z's voice, that's in all the brother's that expresses their inherant goodness?

I was revamping the audio of LAw the other day, and was struck by Z's habit of rubbing his head.

Why is it that he does it?? Is it bc he is unsure of himself, or that's he's shy?

I think perhaps both, his shyness causes him to be unsure of himself or visa versa.
Also I think he keeps his hair so short as a reminder of a part of him that he wants to hold onto but also wants to let go of. Hope that makes sense.

If I remember correrctly, his Mistress loved his hair, (it was like Phury's ~ multi colored and a bit longer). I believe he keeps it close cut bc of his experience w/her. In fact, Phury and Z are identical twins, Except now, Z is scarred. If he let his hair grow out, his hair would be just like Phury's.

Although, even Phury doesn't think much of his much admired locks. Both Bella and Cormia, (and even Butch), think his hair is pretty fantastic.

I guess I wondered if JRW said why Z rubs his short hair. It's almost a habit, such as biting your nails or drumming your fingers on the table.